


Arizona (A Save Situation)

by JustCrushALot



Series: Oh, the places we'll go. [3]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Song fic, State fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCrushALot/pseuds/JustCrushALot
Summary: Girl meets girl. Girl moves across the country for work. They try to make it work, but sometimes, when there's distance, love can feel like it's not enough.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Series: Oh, the places we'll go. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1973557
Comments: 11
Kudos: 124





	Arizona (A Save Situation)

**Author's Note:**

> [A Save Situation- The Format](https://youtu.be/WYTAHQygLwA?t=18)

#### Open your eyes and let me in  
I swore to God I’d never swear

* * *

She can feel the weight of her eyelids as she wakes from a dream. Still, the dream feels so real. Her mouth is dry and her heart is racing. 

_Christen_. 

She turns in the bed to confirm that she is alone; to allow herself to understand that she has only covers to pull in close.  
  
She looks at her phone: 3pm—still three and a half hours until her alarm will go off.  
  
The TV is on and the sound of some advertisement drones on through her hazy waking thoughts. She doesn’t know what channel she left it on, just whichever turned on first for the comfort of sound—a refuge from her loneliness. She reaches for her phone and types out, “I think the universe loves us enough to give us each other but hates us enough to do it now,” and presses send.

She doesn’t wait for the reply. She knows it isn’t coming. It won’t until Christen gets off work for the day.

Then, Christen will call and they’ll have an hour to say all of the things they mean. The words will push through the fog that is the hour before work and the commute home. Through one mind still crunching numbers and considering a to-do list and another focused on finishing laundry and preparing lunch. The words won’t feel the way they’re supposed to—the way they would if the two of them were laying face-to-face, heads on pillows, fingers interlaced, studying the subtlety that makes her face uniquely hers. 

_Falling in love is easier when you can lay down together._

The words won't even get to feel the way they would if they were both lying in bed texting. They don’t benefit from the power of the night to them weak enough to tell the whole truth. 

The past few weeks have felt impossible. They’ve been impossible. 

The time difference between Phoenix and New York is only 3 hours, but she’s been working the graveyard shift, so it might as well be the other side of the planet. By the time she gets off work at 7am Christen has been at work for at least two hours, and by the time she wakes up at 6:30pm, Christen is just getting off work and is winding down from the day. 

* * *

The truth is, they met at the wrong time. 

They’d tried not to let it happen—

Tried to make it a one-night stand—

Then, just a few hookups; keeping casual— 

But they couldn’t avoid it. Christen was all Tobin could think about—she’d linger just off-stage in all of Tobins thoughts. Tobin would text her for advice and about her day. She would tell her stories about their mutual friends. Christen felt safe and easy to be around. And she was so incredibly sexy. It was as though it was a foregone conclusion that Christen would be part of Tobin’s life. It was just so obvious that they should be together.

But then Christen moved away for her job, like she was always supposed to, and now it feels like the universe is pushing back: telling them they were wrong. Telling them that it might be easier had they never known one another. Tobin shudders at the thought of losing Christen and pulls her covers close. It’s like she’s been altered internally a way that she can’t take back now. Life will never make sense again without Christen.

But why does she have to live so far away?

* * *

When FaceTime rings, she is just buttoning up her shirt. She sets the phone down on the counter against the mirror as she answers.

“Hey, Chris!” Tobin surprises herself with the intensity and register of her own voice. It’s like the mere thought of Christen has drawn some optimism out of her weakness.

“You’re supposed to be taking your clothes off for me, not putting them on” Christen quips. 

“Well come back here and you can take them off all you want.” Tobin offers back. 

There’s a sigh and a pregnant pause and Christen mumbles, “I wish, baby. So much I wish I could just fly there right now and be with you.”

“But you can’t.” Tobin replies, resigned.

“But I can’t.” Christen affirms.

* * *

It goes like this for weeks, and then months. They get to FaceTime sometimes. They text and sext and call and fall more and more for each other. And it’s not bad. In fact it’s good. Christen makes Tobin feel things she never thought she would before.

But then Christen gets a promotion and they want her to stay in New York for at least another six months to two years, maybe permanently. 

When she tells Tobin, Tobin puts on her best smile and spins around with the phone in her hand pretending she’s spinning Christen in congratulations. 

After they hang up Tobin cries for an hour and clocks in late for work. 

* * *

She says, “I love you” to Christen for the first time via a screen. It doesn’t feel like enough. Nothing with them ever feels like enough. She feels like she’s being robbed of her happily ever after. 

* * *

“Have you ever watched a carved pumpkin rot?” Christen asks her sometime around halloween. 

“Yeah, as a kid I think probably.” Tobin responds, a question in her tone. 

“My neighbor has one rotting outside right now.” Christen says, matter-of-factly, as though it explains the premise of the conversation.

The idea that Christen has a neighbor somewhere else, that she’s permentely a resident of somewhere other than Phoenix, hits Tobin in the chest, robbing her of oxygen. She manages a small questioning “hm?”

“Like looks fine on the outside, but it’s rotting inside. You can see when you look inside: it’s black and rotten and hairy.”

“Gross,” Tobin offers, nonchalantly. 

Christen nods and then pauses. She takes a deep breath. When she speaks it’s like her voice is hollow and distant. “Do you think that’s us?” 

Tobin feels like she can barely swallow. “What do you mean?”

“Do you think we look fine on the outside but we’re rotting on the inside?”

Tobin feels thrown, she really wasn’t expecting to have this kind of conversation. “No, I— uh— I think we’re a bit of a mess right now, but it’s a mess to be managed. We’re not rotting and dying, we’re figuring it out.”

“I guess you’re right.” Christen says, sighing again and staring up toward the ceiling as if searching for the right words, “Sometimes I just wonder if this is worth it if we’re just going to fall apart anyway.”

Tobin feels a flurry of emotion rise from her stomach. It sticks at the top of her throat and pushes tears out into her eyes. It’s something between anger and grief, and it’s overwhelming.

Christen seems oblivious as she sighs and says, “I don’t know.”

Tobin blurts out, “You affect me, you know? Saying we’re falling apart, that affects me. You can’t just— Every fucking little thing you do affects me, Chris. I love you and I want to be with you. Do you not want that?” She reaches out into the air instinctively trying to pull the words back. Trying to erase them from history. She doesn't want to have just freaked out. And, perhaps more importantly, she doesn’t _really_ want to know the answer to her question. Not if she’s going to lose Christen. 

After a pause that feels far too long Christen finally replies, “I do— it’s just— what if we’re not meant for it, Tobin?”

Tobin hangs her head and mumbles, “How the hell are we going to know if you just give up on us now.”

 _And_ _everything is just… so hard._

* * *

Life starts to feel numb to Tobin. Like she’s being chauffeured around her own life. It’s been six months at a distance and she feels like she’s becoming a slave to a routine that breaks her heart every day. 

She can’t really sleep anymore. She feels like she spends all of her free time waiting around wondering whether Christen might also be free soon. She keeps herself available, just in case. 

She’s become sensitive to the sound of her phone notifications, and she wakes up every time something comes in, hoping she can make their love last long enough to give it a real try— in person, together. 

And they fight and they make up, over and over, but she still feels so removed from it all. They’ve both tried to visit one another, but had to cancel at the last minute because of work. 

She thinks she has to do something.

So she starts applying for jobs in New York. She’s never really wanted to leave Arizona—all of her friends and family are here—but maybe if she does she can keep Christen. It would be worth it. And who knows? Maybe they could get back there someday. 

On their best days, Christen makes her feel like she’s flying. She feels wanted and loved in a way she never has before. She knows it can only get better when the distance is gone. So, every day risking it all for Christen it seems more and more worth it.

* * *

It’s a Wednesday morning when her phone wakes her from her half sleep to let her know that she got a job in New York. It’s not her dream job, not even close, but dreams can change. 

She starts to feel sick as she contemplates how to talk to Christen about it. Does she just take the job and show up in New York and hope for the best? What if Christen doesn’t want her there? What if Christen is cheating on her with that workmate she’s always talking about going to happy hour with?

Her stomach churns and her chest feels full the way it does when she gets no sleep. She stares up at the ceiling and imagines herself being observed through a microscope. She wonders what someone seeing her like this might think. Would they pity her, lying here sleepless in bed, hoping someone will keep loving her, worrying they won't? Or would they cheer for her: an underdog in love, precisely lovesick enough to abandon everything for what might be a long shot with the woman of her dreams? 

Her phone dings, shaking her from her spiraling thoughts. 

**Christen Press ❤️ (5:41pm):** _Can’t talk today before you go to work, have to do a bunch around the office._

Tobin’s heart sinks. She closes her eyes and presses her head back into the pillow trying to imagine what it would be like if that text was followed with something like, “see you at home.” 

_God, Christen feels so far away._

**Tobin Heath (5:42pm):** _Okay love, no worries!_ _  
_ **Christen Press ❤️ (5:43pm):** _Don’t you want to know why I’m so busy?_ _  
_ **Tobin Heath (5:43pm):** _Big week at work?_ _  
_ **Christen Press ❤️ (5:44pm):** _Yes, but also because… I’m coming home this weekend!_

Tobin leaps out of bed closing her fist and pumping her arm inward in celebration.

 **Tobin Heath (5:46pm):** _For real? This is the best news ever. For how long? God, I can’t wait to see you, baby! Want to make the most of every second I get with you_ 😘 _._

She looks around the room, realizing the mess she’s made of her place, and starts a mental to-do list.

 **Christen Press ❤️ (5:48pm):** _Just for the weekend, I think. I have work in the Phoenix office starting Friday, but they’ve let me extend my trip!_

Tobin nearly cries in relief. It feels like a good sign. Like hoping is worth it.

* * *

The week flies by in a flurry of excitement and nerves. Tobin’s not sure what to expect when she sees Christen. Will it feel familiar? Awkward? Will it feel as right as it did before she left? What if it doesn’t? It has been _so_ long.

She takes Friday off of work and spends the day cleaning her place and thinking through every possible variation of the “Can I move to New York with you?” conversation—from the “we can live in separate places” suggestion to the “sure, let’s get married” agreement. The only thing she is totally sure of is that she’s not ready to give up on them. 

Christen tells Tobin that she’s going to fly in on Friday morning and go straight to the office and will come to Tobin’s after work. She said she’ll be exhausted, so Tobin is expecting a chill night in. Then, they have plans to spend time with Christen’s family all day Saturday, and Christen promised all of Sunday to Tobin. So, Tobin is a bit surprised when she gets a text with an address that just says “can you meet me here?” She opens up google maps and sees that the address is in a neighborhood in Tempe. She replies “Um… sure? Now?” and gets a thumbs up and a heart emoji back and doesn’t hear anything else. 

* * *

Thirty minutes later, she pulls into a neighborhood with tree-lined streets and beautiful craftsman-style houses with large porches and nicely maintained yards. She parks on the side of the street when google maps tells her she has arrived. She gets out, glancing around in confusion. She'd thought maybe Christen was surprising her with dinner at some new restaurant or something, but didn't want to give the address and give the secret away. Still, the place Tobin has parked is distinctly residential. She pulls her phone out to check the address again. 

Maybe she should just text Christen and— 

“Tobin!” Christen calls her name from the front porch of the house across the street, beaming as she bounds down the front steps and runs across the yard. Christen’s tone is cheerful and excited and almost desperate. 

Tobin can feel her heart start to pound in her chest, excitement radiating through her body. She drops her keys on the ground and starts running toward Christen, smiling more broadly than she has in months.

They meet with a crash in the middle of the street. Tobin picks Christen up and spins her around as they share a desperate and awkward kiss. Christen holds on tightly to Tobin. As they spin everything but the two of them, here in this moment, seems to fade to nothing. Touching Christen again is simultaneously pure joy and entire relief—like jumping into a pool on a hot summer day. 

“Chris,” Tobin breathes out as she sets Christen down. “You’re here. You’re really here.”

Christen cups Tobin’s face between her hands and kisses her firmly. “I’m here!”

They stand in silence for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, taking each other in, hands on hips, both of them sporting impossibly goofy grins. 

The moment is interrupted when a car turns down the street and they have to move. Tobin grabs Christen's hand and pulls her back toward her car, where she picks up her keys and shoves them in her pocket. “What are we doing here, Chris?”

“Okay,” Christen starts. “So, don’t be mad at me.”

Tobin can feel the air between them shift and her heartbeat start to pick up. “I did something...”

Tobin’s face twists in confusion, but she stays silent.

“Okay so, you know how I got an extension on my job in New York?” 

Tobin nods, searching Christen’s face for answers.

“Well, they want to make it permanent. With a raise… And, I was thinking about what that would mean for us. Could we really do long distance forever?”

Tobin feels wrapped up entirely in the moment—focused solely on Christen and the question she just asked. She can feel tears welling up in her eyes, it feels like... 

Like…

She’s not sure where the conversation is heading but it feels like a breakup. It feels like Christen is about to ask to be friends. Like she’s going to logically and clearly explain why they just won’t work.

Christen strokes her thumb along Tobin’s cheek, as if soothing invisible tears that Tobin is holding. “I just am not sure I could keep doing distance. So I’ve been thinking, maybe we should... ” 

Tobin interrupts, “We don’t have to—,” almost pleading. “I got a job in New York. We don’t have to do distance.”

“What?” Christen steps back, shocked.

“I applied for a job in New York, and I got it. I can start next week. We can… we don’t have to break up Christen. We can make it work.”

Christen shakes her head in disbelief. “You… Tobin you took a job in New York?”

“No, I just got one. It's… it's kind of a step back, and I'll have to stay on nights… but it's there in the city. And I have until Monday to tell them either way. But I’ll do it. I’ll call them right now and leave a message and tell them I’m coming. Chris, you and me, we have to make it.”

She pulls out her phone and starts to search for the number in her inbox humming, “Hold on, I can call them, Chris.” Christen is quiet for a moment and Tobin can feel her staring. Then, she chuckles once. Then twice. Tobin looks up at Christen who bursts into laughter. It’s full-on cracking-up laughter, but it's the weary kind—the kind that happens when the universe doubles down on your fate and you can't do anything but laugh.

Tobin offers a sideways smile and chuckles slightly. “What? Chris? What are we laughing about?”

Christen finally stops laughing, but keeps an amused look as she Takes Tobin by the shoulders. “Tobin.”

“Chris.” Tobin places her hands on Christen’s shoulders as well, searching Christen's face for answers but finding none.

“Tobin, what do you think we are doing here right now?”

Tobin glances around, remembering where they are. “Um. I guess— I guess I honestly don’t know at all.”

“Come with me?” she asks, taking Tobin’s hand and interlacing their fingers. Tobin allows herself to be led across the street and up the porch steps of a house. Christen opens the front door and pulls Tobin into an empty entryway, which opens to a large well-lit living room. 

“Uh, Chris?” Tobin asks as they come to a stop just inside the door. 

“Yeah, Tobin?”

“Who’s weird empty house is this?”

“Well, that’s why we’re here.” Christen says. She makes eye contact with Tobin, as if she wants to detect every microexpression in Tobin’s reaction. “I did something kind of crazy." Her eyes flit around Tobin’s face, as if searching for some specific reaction, “As of today, it’s mine. But, I’m hoping, maybe, if you’re up for it, it could be ours.” It’s said as more of a question than a statement but it feels like a prophecy.

A smile spreads across Tobin’s face, “Ours?” 

“If you want.”

“Here, in Phoenix?” Tobin asks, eyes bright and wide with excitement.

“Well, technically, we’re in Tempe.” Christen giggles.

“I don’t understand… you just said you were staying in…”

“No, I said they wanted me to stay, Tobes. I said no. I told them I was quitting. I gave my notice.” Christen corrects.

“You quit your job?” Tobin's jaw drops in shock. Christen opens her mouth to answer, but before she can Tobin interrupts again, “Oh my god, you bought a house without a job?”

Christen takes her hand, running her thumb across the back, and smiles at her softly. “Tobin, baby. Please let me talk?”

Tobin nods sheepishly.

“I gave them my notice and they were really surprised. I’ve been doing a great job and I think they thought they could keep me there forever. I mean, who doesn’t want to live in New York? Of course, they asked why. I told them that my life is in Phoenix. My family, my friends, the love of my life and I just couldn’t…” she pauses for a moment, “...I couldn’t live my life without you. Without giving us a proper chance…. I know it’s soon and fast and a lot. And we haven’t even seen each other in months, but nothing’s been right since I left you.” Christen takes Tobin’s hand other in hers. “I knew you like, what, six weeks? But somehow in that time you created this hole in my heart that only you could fill. And it just wasn’t the same across the country. When it had an end-date, it felt like maybe if we could just make it we’d have a real shot. But then, when they offered me that job, I realized I didn’t want to be in New York City even five more minutes—because for every fantastic thing that city has, it doesn’t have you. So, I knew if I wanted to give us a real chance to be something big and magical and amazing—at real true, earth-shattering love—that I needed to come home.”

“So you quit your job for earth-shattering love?” Tobin asks, eyebrow cocked with a smirk.

“Oh, no! Sorry. I guess because I was so excited for the job before I went out there, they thought I’d never want to come back here. But when I told them I wanted to be here in Phoenix, they sort of freaked out and immediately offered me an even better role back here. The job came with a moving and housing stipend and when I saw this place for rent I thought it was perfect. I just have to live here for at least a year, because I kind of signed a lease. That's the kind of crazy thing I did. But, if we want to live together somewhere else— out in Glendale by my parents, or up north with yours, or whatever, we can.”

“Are you serious?” Tobin practically shouts.

“Yeah, it’s— it’s kinda perfect, right?”

Tobin puts her hands on Christen’s hips and pulls her in slowly. She mumbles, “Baby, it’s more than perfect,” against Christen's lips as she kisses her deeply. She can feel the kiss reverberate through her body, like the world is righting itself by the power of their love. She pulls away smiling before chuckling, “But, maybe, in the future, let’s talk to each other before we get jobs across the country, and rent houses and stuff, huh?”

“Maybe.” Christen smiles. “Or maybe I— we?—should just live here in this house and keep these jobs and let our biggest decisions right now be about what to get each other for Christmas this year?”

“I’m good with that. My lease goes month-to-month in December, so, maybe you’ll get me moving in here for Christmas.” Tobin says, leaning in for another kiss.

“Oh! I forgot!” Christen jumps back taking Tobin by the hand and pulling her into the kitchen. She opens the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of prosecco. “I don’t have any cups, but I thought we could celebrate?”

Tobin watches with enraptured and feeling her heart filled to the brim as Christen untwists the muselet and shoots the cork into the air. 

“To new earth-shattering love?” Tobin asks, kissing Christen on the temple.

“To earth-shattering love,” Christen agrees, taking a gulp straight from the bottle, choking on it slightly as she does. She hands the bottle to Tobin as she coughs. 

And maybe it’s a little crazy, the whole thing. But Tobin knows they still have time to figure it all out. They’ll learn what it’s like to live with each other and do household chores and drive each other up the wall. And they’ll figure out how to make dramatic life decisions together, rather than apart. And, Tobin will figure out how to get past her insecurities. And, maybe, if it all works out, they’ll figure out what it’s like to plan a wedding and raise a family. All Tobin knows right now is that it’s worth the risk. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Here_to_read1818 for feedback!


End file.
